my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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