The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
