I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Randomize
