So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
