Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
