all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
