His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize