She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
