i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
