I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
