i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
