Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the condom got lost in my hair
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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