Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it because I queefed?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
They are going to name an STD after you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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