i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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