I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
