Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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