on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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