weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
