new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
