Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
