found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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