The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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