I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
