you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize