Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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