So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
