Yo dont text me then not text me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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