The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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