yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
