I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
