her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
