She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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