I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
