its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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