3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
