D3 body, D1 cock
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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