Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
