it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
