i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
