Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
