There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
