Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
