My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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