We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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