I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
