we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
