in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
