I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
