idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
