We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
