I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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