even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
