he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
