Duck Duck Cougar?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
