1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
