My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
