So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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