If i come over, it means nothing
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
