dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
