i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
