then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
