There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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