Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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