Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
