I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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