if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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